Why do bad things happen to good people
I was talking to my father the other day and he mentioned how our legal system does not reward us for following the law. We do not get congratulatory balloons for not jaywalking, we do not get bonus gifts in the mail for following the speed limit, we do not get cash for yielding to pedestrians. We do not receive a special government thank you for being honest on our taxes.
In fact, with few exceptions, the only time we interact with our legal system is when there is an actual or perceived wrong doing or there is a need to prevent a potential infringement on somebody’s rights. We know this is so, and we do not expect to receive any positive reinforcement for being law abiding citizens.
I thought, how interesting, within our legal system we do not expect to be rewarded for following the law, yet in our personal interactions with each other and with the universe we expect that if we are a nice person, then life should reward us by being nice to us. We expect that if we treat our fellow humans kindly then they should treat us kindly in return. We expect that if we do everything “right” then we will never get ill or be mistreated in any way.
To a certain degree, we do “reap what we sow” and each action usually has a consequence based on that action. However, even when we seemingly do everything “right,” bad things still happen to us.
Why is that? I wondered. Why is that even when we treat people kindly, eat consciously and recycle, we still struggle to make ends meet, we still have to deal with difficult people and we still get ill? And why is it that while we do not expect any reward from our government for being a good citizen, we do expect reward from the universe for being a nice person.
So I went into my meditation and asked my guides. Here’s what they said.
“Hello Dear Friend,
Today’s topic is about return on investment, ROI as you business people say.
When it comes to human relationships, the ROI system fails.
To do something with the idea that you will get something in return means that whatever kindness you bestowed on another being was done with the goal of getting something back. It was conditional.
And that’s fine, except that you complain about how life is not fair.
You cry about how you do so many good things without getting an equal amount of things in return.
When you do not get what you think is fair, you get angry, upset, despondent and depressed. You stop trying. You say “what’s the point?”
We ask: What does “fair” mean to you? Does it mean that because you were kind on the road this morning that someone else will be kind to you in the evening? Or because you bought someone a cup of coffee then someone else must buy you a cup?
Yes, there are a lot of such synchronicities. They are there to train you, to teach you how to be kind. They are somewhat of an angelic reward to keep you on your path. Like a carrot for your horse.
We also ask: How do you know that your good deed came first? How do you know that your kindness today is not a response to someone’s earlier action.
What if many lifetimes ago, your friend “Emily” helped you, and today it is your turn to help her? Except, you do not know this, you help “Emily” and then get upset because she does not give you a simple “thank you.”
We invite you to shift your idea away from “fair.” Give up the notion that someone, anyone owes anything to you. Free yourself from the binds of tit-for-tat.
Today, do something nice for another creature without any expectation. Tomorrow, do it again. And the day after.
And if after thirty days of “good deeds” you still say that life is unfair, then perhaps it is time to transmute your notion of how life should be to life just is.”