How to Create Energetic Boundaries with Spirits
Would you let a stranger into your house… in the middle of the night… while you are sleeping? What if you knew that stranger was harmless and all that stranger wanted to do was raid your fridge, eat the lunch you packed for the next day and leave? Or what if the stranger was lonely and just wanted someone to talk to, as you were getting ready for bed?
No? Why not? You could always make another lunch. And after all, that stranger was harmless to you, took up little to none of your time and eating your lunch helped him to get a good meal in his belly? And you do have the gift of talking, don’t you? So why not talk to a stranger who visits your home at random hours? Some could say that talking is a gift and so you should share it freely with the world.
Am I sounding absurd? I hope so. Then why, may I ask, do so many people allow unseen strangers into their homes, cars, offices willy-nilly? Yep, I’m talking about spirits. Ever seen a spirit of a person who has passed on?
People who work with spirits of those who have passed on are called Mediums. Working with a good Medium can bring a lot of healing to the family and friends of the person who had died. It can answer questions, provide needed information and help to conclude any unfinished business. A Medium can help those still living find forgiveness and peace. It is a beautiful and healing work.
Some people are Mediums exclusively. It is all they do, they bring healing messages from the spirit world to our world. I too perform mediumship work but I am not exclusively a Medium. My job is to help a person heal. Sometimes, that involves bringing forth messages from those who have passed on. I also perform mediumship work whenever I do house or business energy clearing.
A few weeks ago I was visiting a Navy base. My good friend was getting married to a serviceman. Talk about spirits! I have not seen so many spirits in one place even when I was at a cemetery. It makes sense that there would be so many spirits at a Navy base. Serving our country is honorable and dangerous work. A lot of people have suddenly and violently died over the years, some of those souls did not cross over. It does not mean that there’s something inherently wrong with those souls, it’s just the journey that they are on at this time.
More than anything, I was surprised at the incredible sense of honor I felt from those spirits as a group. It was as if they came back to finish their duty of serving and protecting our country. Although the energy was heavy and I was glad that I was there just for a few days, I was grateful to be given an opportunity to see so much love for one’s country in one small place.
Though fully aware of their presence, I did not initiate, invite nor allow contact with any spirit. Why? Because I was not there for the purpose of space clearing, I was not asked to help a family communicate with a loved one and certainly no one requested my services to help a soul transition.
I was there to attend a wedding of my human friends, that was all. My friends were my focus, not strangers, regardless of form. I was not there to hook up with good looking sailors nor to perform mediumship work, regardless of whether I thought those men looked hot (mmm, men in uniform) or whether I felt that those spirits needed my help. I chose where I wanted my attention and energy to go – to my friends.
Similarly, my home is a place where I choose to relax, unwind and recharge. I decide whom to invite into my home and share my time and energy with.
I am not paranoid or unfriendly. I just like my personal space and time to belong to me. When I work with clients or meditate, then yes, spirits come through for the explicit purpose of healing. But when I am going about my business, I expect to do it uninterrupted.
Sure, sometimes I see spirits unexpectedly, as I have when I was at the Navy base. Whenever that happens I ask myself: is this spirit is like a stranger I pass on the street? Should I ignore him or is there a valid reason for me to engage? If there is a valid reason then I ask myself: is this appropriate? Do I have the time or the energy to explore the reason right now? Or should I remind the spirit of my office hours and ask him to come back later?
There are occasions when I will engage with a spirit outside my working or meditating space. But those are far in between and there is always a good reason for my agreeing to engage. And this reason is never simply “because I can” or “because I am needed.”
Spirits can feel my boundaries and for the most part, they respect them. In cases when a spirit has no respect for my personal space, I have set up measures which prevent him or her from intruding.
Here are some of the things I do to maintain energetic boundaries with spirits:
No means no
I really mean it when I say “this is my private time.” Here’s the thing, I have absolutely no attachment to whether I talk to spirits or not. My identity is not based on the fact that I am an intuitive. I do not believe that being able to talk to spirits makes me special. I do not care whether other people know “what I can do.” I do not feel obligated to talk to spirits just because I can help them. Furthermore, I do not view my abilities as gifts, I view them as skills. They are something that I have studied, paid for and have become good at doing. I carry the same attitude I would if I were a plumber or a mathematician. I know that I am good at my work but I have no need to always do my work. My work and my skill does not define who I am.
Call in Energetic Bouncers
When I first started doing this work I did not think to lock down my energetic space. This resulted in a very sweet spirit named Aileen moving into my hall closet. Although I enjoyed her company and have a learned a great deal from her, I realized that her home is not here. Her home is in the great beyond. We said our goodbyes and I performed a ritual to send her on her way. Once she left, I went through a ceremony to energetically lock down my home. I called in my Guides and asked them to seal the energy around my home with a bubble of white light. I requested that my Guides keep the energetic bubble around my house locked unless I was specifically planning on working with spirits. In such case, my Guides would remain as sentries, opening the entrance only for appropriate energies and then ensuring that those beings leave after we were done working together. I call these guides my “Energetic Bouncers.” I like to imagine them as strong, muscular and hot looking angelic beings who wear tight, white muscle shirts. Hey, a girl can dream 🙂
Perform regular space clearing rituals
Smudging and diffusing are two of my favorite methods to clean my space energetically. I use Frankincense for both. I buy high quality oil for my diffuser and natural Frankincense sap for the smudging. I cleanse my space before and after every healing, reading and class. I also cleanse my space after any social event I may host in my home.
Keep the physical space clean
It is hard to keep a clean energetic space if there is chaos in your physical space. I keep my house as clean as I can. I do not wear shoes indoors and I ask my guests to leave their shoes outside. I keep the bathroom doors closed and the toilet lids down. It’s a Feng Shui thing, plus I do not like to keep looking inside of a toilet bowl whenever I happen to walk by. I take the trash out regularly and try to not have any dirty dishes in the sink. I keep my dirty clothes in the hamper. Yes, I do get busy and my house is not always perfect, I am OK with that as long as some general semblance of order is maintained.
Keep growing as a healer and forgive the “oopses”
Stuff happens, ignorance leads to errors, rules get broken, and mistakes are made. Even the best intentions can result in a disaster. And this is OK. My personal intention is to be slightly more knowledgeable today than I was yesterday. As long as I continue with my own personal growth, all shall be well.
May all the beings who walk through YOUR door be invited, considerate, helpful and have enough will power to stay away from your fridge.