Cannabis and Spirituality

As a teenager and young adult, I had zero exposure to recreational drugs. My party enhancer of choice was alcohol, probably because I am Russian and Russians do like their booze. My parents believed that the only way to prevent alcohol abuse was to allow their children to drink openly. They were right, without the “forbidden fruit” factor, alcohol became just something we did for social bonding. Alcohol was there whenever I wanted it, but I never became fanatic towards it.

Fast forward through my 20’s and 30’s, I started to see the damage, sometimes deadly, that is brought forth by uncontrolled drinking. I decided to stop drinking, not for any moral or emotional reason, but simply because it stopped bringing me pleasure. So, you may guess what response I had when my meditation teacher (out of all people!!!) advised me to take cannabis to help me to meditate and also to ease my headaches. At first, I was shocked, my respectable, spiritually evolved teacher smokes weed?! How can that be? Only potheads smoke!

But then I thought about it. The recommendation came from a trusted teacher and friend. The person who took me through San Pedro and Ayahuasca ceremonies. The person who helped me come out of the darkness brought upon by my mom’s death. The person to whom I am forever grateful because she is the reason I am who I am today. “Surely, there must be something to it,” I began to think. I asked her to share with me the cannabis oil that she makes for her own use. The oil had her energy in it and I thought it would be a great place to start my investigation.

At that time, I was studying trance channeling with that same teacher. I have already been performing intuitive readings and energy healings (professionally for some time but I wanted to grow my skills and so I sighed up to learn how to channel. (A Trance Channel is a person who goes into a deep meditative state that allows his or her persona to leave the body, opening up space for an energetic being to come in. I do it for the purpose of receiving wisdom and guidance from the spirit world. You can read more about trance channeling here. )

My teacher told me to take some of her cannabis oil an hour before coming to class.

I walked into the classroom being quite high. Having never been high before, I actually did not know that I was high. All I knew was that suddenly it became so much easier for me to connect with the spirit world. My clairvoyance and other internal sensors were magnified. There was a funny side effect, though. The energy in the room doubled because now I could easily connect to the people world and the spirit world. I did not know where to focus my eyes – on the physical person or on the energetic being standing next to her.

Don’t get me wrong, I did not go into a weird hallucination state. I could always see the spirit world. With cannabis, my connection to the spirit world just became more clear and direct. I no longer had to focus to go into a deep meditation. I just took a few breaths, relaxed and I was there!

From that day on, I knew that cannabis is my medicine and that I will be leading cannabis ceremonies for the purpose of healing and connecting with the spirit world. I had no clue, what, where, and how but that’s normal for me. Every great choice that I made in my life was intuition based. I knew I was going to do such and such, often even before knowing exactly what it is that I will be doing.

Case in point. One morning, many years ago, I woke up knowing that I would be teaching people how to be a Reiki Healer. What’s more, I knew that I would be training teachers on how to teach Reiki healing to their own students. The thing is, back then I had no clue what Reiki was! But that’s another story.

Well, one day my Native American friend from Tucson showed up at my door. That’s his thing, he comes when the stars align and that day I suppose they did. Together we performed a Native American healing ceremony on about ten people. After the healing, I was having a hard time becoming grounded. The ceremony was intense and a lot of heavy energy was pulled out of people. I was not used to such intensity and I was an emotional mess.

“Here, smoke this,” he said, as he handed me his ceremonial pipe filled with home grown cannabis and tobacco. Saying that I coughed my guts out that evening would be an understatement. But once the fog cleared (hehehehe), I realized that I was fully alert, grounded, focused and more “me” than I ever was.

He stayed for four nights and each evening we smoked, talked and meditated. I am forever grateful for those days with him and for the clarity, power and vision that he brought into my life.

I continued to meditate with cannabis and a few months later I noticed an unexpected thing. I no longer suffered from tension headaches!

Ever since high school I have been suffering from headaches caused by a pinched nerve. These headaches were getting progressively worse to the point where I was in pain and major brain fog for 4 – 8 days each month. I cannot tell you how many classes I had taught with zebras doing cartwheels in my head! Cannabis literally gave me my sanity back.

I used to hear people say thing like “cannabis helped me with…” fill in the blank, and I judged them for it. “Good for you, finding an excuse to get high,” I thought. Then one day I heard myself telling my own dad not just about being headache free because of cannabis but about the cannabis ceremonies I perform and the life changing stories I heard from those who had attended. I also found myself inviting my dad to such ceremony and him agreeing to come.

I am so glad that cannabis is becoming accepted as a healer and medicine. The plant has been a part of the Native American world for eons and I am grateful that now we have access to this amazing spirit.

But, as with anything, cannabis can bring in light or dark.

A short while ago I was meditating with cannabis and I asked her, why is it that some people go into an amazing meditation with you while others experience unpleasant paranoia. She told me this:

“I am a Guide and a Teacher. I will take you where you want to go. If you want to go learn, I will teach you. If you want to block yourself from healing, I will play with your mind. If you want to live in lower vibrations, sure, I’ll take you into the dark forest and show you the monsters who live there. If you want to see the light, we will fly. It’s up to you where we go. I am a guide and a teacher, but as with any loving teacher, the choice to grow and heal is left up to the student.”


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And so, as I water the baby clones in my friend’s greenhouse, I think back to her words. Where do I want Santa Maria to take me today?


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